Traditional Wedding

Marriage is something that is highly valued in the Xhosa culture. When a woman gets married the entire community rejoices with her and her family as marriage is seen as a blessing from God. In traditional times, the practice of ukuthwala or “choosing the one” begins with a groom-to-be choosing a bride-to-be. The two families would then discuss the proposal, and once an agreement was made, the bride-to-be was immediately spirited away to the home of the groom’s family to signify the intention to marry. The following morning, the bride was welcome to return to her family home and then, the betrothal process begins.

The betrothal process includes negotiations of Lobola, or the “bridal price”. Traditionally, this “bridal price” was in the form of cattle, although in today’s society it is more common for money to be substituted for cattle. The custom of Lobola seals the relationships between the two families or clans and is generally understood as a sign that the groom is able and willing to provide for his new bride. Unbeknownst to many, the Lobola is then usually used by the bride’s family to contribute to the wedding celebrations and other traditional ceremonies. As the Xhosa peoples value hospitality dearly and welcome anyone to this community-wide celebration, the Lobola is useful in subsidizing the wedding events.

Once the Lobola negotiations have been finalized, the marriage, along with all its trappings can take place. A day is appointed for the ukwenda or the "traditional Xhosa wedding". Animals are slaughtered, beer is brewed and the two day or more occasion is marked with dancing, singing and feasting. The wife is often given a new name and at the end of the day, the bride and groom walk the main road together (ukucanda ibala) to signify to the community, they are now husband and wife.